Bus Journey Down Memory Lane

As I made my way to work this morning I saw an old man get on the bus who was the spitting image of my late father.

I was reading a book at the time and as the bus stopped and let the man on I happened to look up from the page and as soon as I spotted him the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

The similarities were uncanny, the features, the clothing, the glasses, the walking stick – he even walked with a limp as did my father – the result of a mild stroke.

He proceeded to sit down near the front of the bus which also happened to be the preferred seating place of my dad.

At this point I put away my book and just took a few moments looking at the old man. Him sitting there like that triggered memories of when we used to take bus journeys together to various places.

My father and I had a good relationship overall. We had our arguments as I think is quite common with fathers and sons and we differed our opinions quite radically on some things but it’s funny how as I approach middle age I find myself being more in tune with some of the values and opinions he used to have.

I didn’t share them at the time, I suppose the main reason being that I was trying to forge my own independence and values and it’s natural to rebel to a certain extent and to not take much notice of your parents opinions.

Funnily enough, I’m going through a similar thing at the moment with my teenage daughter, funny how life goes around in circles and follows certain patterns isn’t it.

As I sat there and examined the old man more closely the illusion started to wear off and I could see that the old man differed from my father in certain ways. The hair wasn’t quite the same, the shape of the forehead was different etc etc.

I tried to resist this and continue on my flight of fancy by squinting my eyesight slightly making my vision blurred to retrieve the apparition of my father’s form.

Eventually the old man reached his destination and got off the bus.

I suppose it was a bit of a stupid thing to do really but for those few moments I actually felt as if my dad was back with me and we were sharing a bus ride together again.

I’m not a believer in life after death and I don’t think we can contact the dead once they leave us. Maybe I’m wrong but somehow I doubt it.

I know that the time I shared with my dad was precious and I miss him very much.

Indeed I miss my mum just as much – she was quite possibly the loveliest lady I’ve ever known and I miss her gentle manner of speaking and warm hands rubbing my cold ones as I came in from a wintry day.

If anyone is reading this who still has their parents with them – treasure them!!

I know it’s hard sometimes and we get caught up in life’s little soap operas but please I urge you, just take a minute to call them or better still go and spend some time with them and really ‘be there’ in the moment.

When they’ve gone, you’ll be glad you did 🙂

6 Comments

  • Alex

    Reply Reply September 21, 2009

    Hi Eddy,

    Beautiful post. All your content here seems to be rich with emotion and feeling and gives me a real insight into the man sitting next to me, telling dirty jokes at work! lol.

    In all seriousness, I love this post and love the writing style on this blog.

    Although I am lucky to still have my parents, I know exactly where you are coming from. My greatest fear is that they won’t see their son become successful. I don’t wait around for success anymore, and I want to pay tribute to them through my success. As a thank you for the amazing lives they have lead and for everything they have done for me. It’s what scares and drives me on.

    Thanks for the post Eddy. It has given me pause for thought and reflection.

    • Edward Rush

      Reply Reply September 21, 2009

      Ayup Al.

      Glad you liked the post and thankyou for those kind comments mate.

      This may sound a bit soft and I make no apologies for that but I really never thought I would miss them both like I do.

      It’s so easy to take things and people for granted as we get caught up in our everyday situations.

      I wish I could go back in time and tell them how grateful I am to them for the way they brought me up and what they have done for me.

      They’re still helping me to this day, I wouldn’t be able to have this building work done were it not for the money they left me in their wills.

      It’s nice to hear how much you appreciate your folks Al and I bet you a pound to a penny they’re proud of you already 🙂

  • neil mcgoran

    Reply Reply October 14, 2009

    hi eddie
    i work at royal mail with your bro steve (Top bloke).
    lovin your blog and like your mate Al says “writing style”
    its like them hovis adverts you used to see on telly,:)

    your bang on what you say about lifes little soap operas, i find it very hard to find the time to go and see them because of my life commitments plus they both work.
    my dad is out of the house 12 hours as he works for a building firm in sheffield. and likes HIS RELAX TIME after work before he gos to bed at 9 LOL.
    after reading your DEEP post makes me realize .that could be me. so tomorrow after work i’m off to my mam’s and dad’s to bug them.

    also i think you used to go to school with my sister julie mcgoran at maculeys she was 40 on 3rd of october.

    keep up the good work and i’ll let you know how it gos
    neil 😉

  • Daniel

    Reply Reply June 18, 2010

    That has made my day. This one had me laughing for awhile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3j7uSbccSc

  • Mary Edwards

    Reply Reply November 26, 2011

    Dear Edward
    Christine has just shown me your writing of your parents (my brother and sister in law) I have very fond memories of them both and enjoyed seeing their photographs though it brought tears to my eyes.I remember their wedding day so clearly.After the reception everyone went home to change before meeting up for a drink later. When the happy couple walked through the door I was stunned to see how beautiful your mother looked in her new coat and matching white fur hat and cravat. I have never forgotten that moment. Your dad was always so proud of her,she had a lovely gentle nature. I wish you well with your business ventures. love to Amanda, Corrinna and yourself from Auntie Mary.xx

  • Christine Mason

    Reply Reply November 26, 2011

    Hi Edward
    Reading your blog gave mum so much pleasure and she dictated her message for you, to me. My enduring memory of your mum will be her singing “The Spinning Wheel” at family parties. Our uncles, John, Steven, Tony, Martin and Peter would sing first together and then your mum would be persuaded to give her solo. I can see her now sitting on the arm of a chair in mum’s bungalow in Skellow, absolute silence in the room and her sweet clear soft voice telling the story of the blindold old grandmother and the call of young love,
    Many years later I asked your dad if he would copy out the words for me.He went one better and went to Doncaster and bought me a tape of it. I learned the words and used to sing it to my pupils at school.I always smile when I think of your mum and that song.much love to you all Christinexx
    ps mum is 93

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